I am many things.

I am a lover. I am a realist.

I am many things, but collected is not one of them. I mean, of course I look it on the outside. That’s just how I was raised. No one needs to throw their emotions around. It’s ugly, it’s messy. So, I prefer to keep it to myself. Which, in the long run, still has chaotic results. I learned to mask everything, and keep to myself.

EXPLOSIVE.

That’s the result. So, if you are one of those many people who push their emotions on other people, you are probably sane. Cheers to you. Doesn’t make you any less fucking annoying.

I am here to tell the world how it is. I know everything, I do. I can win any arguement, I can make you collapse with words, I can fight any fight with wit and honesty.

But I don’t. I refrain, because I like difference in this world. I am also very nice and probably don’t want to tell you how it is. I like that people are dreamers. In fact, if I could be one I would. But I am a cold realist. And in this large world of possibilities, I am factual and pessimistic. There is always a cloud over me. It’s how I’ve always been.

I am a republican that doesn’t believe in religion. What the fuck is that? I am a human that loves Christmas and Easter, but doesn’t believe in Jesus. Not that it matters, no one knows the exact birth and death of a human that hasn’t even been proved to exist.

But we are human, so we look for something to believe in, to love, to talk to when we have no one. Well, everyone else does.

I am simply a person on the side, watching humans exist in this fucked up world. And I don’t mind, it’s fun. It can make me laugh, cry, or shake my head.

I am many things. I love animals too much. I am a military wife and a soon to be mom. I am in love with so many things. I am fun and happy when I want to be. I am boring.

I am hoping that writing will once again clear my head and make the nightmares formed by stress go away. I will vent, rant, make you laugh, and probably piss one or two people off.

I am starting now.

 

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About natuhhleee

I'm learning to be honest with myself, and others. So please tread lightly. I'm 20, pregnant with my first, and have been married to my wonderful husband who is in the Air Force for more than two years now. I used to drink, smoke, and party most of every week, but I've been sober since getting knocked up (of course), and I feel my best. I am learning to accept myself as well as others, and get my life organized. I will say nothing but the truth, I owe it to myself. The military sent us to Okinawa, which I will be mentioning a lot. A small island close to Japan. The weather is tropical, and I live a 30 second walk from a perfect, not busy beach. We have one more year here before we go back stateside on June 2013. Although I love it here, I miss my family more than anything. I have two sweet rescue mutts that I love to death, the are my first children.
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